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Scarling.Kitten
Mod in a turban
Mod in a turban


Female Number of posts : 1
Location : Sleeping next to my guitar
Age : 16
Registration date : 2006-08-15

PostSubject: The End   Tue Aug 15, 2006 6:48 am

The last page of this life
The last refrian of this song
I'll move on but not knowing,
Whether to forget or remember

I'll change, I know,
For bad or for good
Maybe I'll reach my dreams
I really hope I do

So I'll go now and try to move on
Never forgetting the black sheep,
Who either made this heaven or hell

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Hail fair moon,
Ruler of night,
Gaurd me and mine,
Until the light.
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foaf.scribble
Mod in a tam 'o shanter
Mod in a tam 'o shanter
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Female Number of posts : 129
Age : 27
Location : England :]
Age : 14
Registration date : 2006-08-11

PostSubject: Re: The End   Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:59 am

this is really good, i like the metaphors

maybe add another line to the last stanza? to really wrap it up :]

x||x

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Good Friendships Are Like Wetting Your Pants:

Everyone Can See It But Only You Can Feel Its True Warmth. Thankyou For Being The Piss In My Pants.
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Biro
Biro
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Male Number of posts : 96
Age : 26
Location : In a wet wipe box ... Help!
Age : 14
Writing forte/s : details and dialogue
Registration date : 2006-08-11

PostSubject: Re: The End   Wed Aug 16, 2006 5:18 pm

OOO, NO LAST LINE! LEAVE IT LIIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!! OMGSHHHHHHHHHHHHH, that is so flipping sexy, affraid seriously, i loved that, it was short, to the point, yet really good and summed up a lot of great stuff quickly. AMAZING!

GUT deMATCH!!!!!!!!!!
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