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 My Song (wow!!!)

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Admin
Kips (Big Shot/ admin)
Kips (Big Shot/ admin)
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Female Number of posts : 146
Age : 26
Location : England
Age : Thirteen
Writing forte/s : Weird poetry and awful stories!
Registration date : 2006-08-11

PostSubject: My Song (wow!!!)   Sun Aug 13, 2006 3:07 pm

I don't usually write lyrics and it'll be hard to read without the tune but yeah, it sort of has a bit of a country tune to it.

I'm running and running
towards your blue skies
but grey clouds, they follow
so it's no surprise
when you hang your head
and I cry in shame,
returning to hatred:
from whence I came.
You held out your hand,
your arms stretched out wide,
you forgave the worst times
when I pleased but lied.

I'm running and running
towards your blue skies
but grey clouds, they follow
me in my flimsy disguise.
You helped me to tear up
my suicide letter,
you held me and promised
that things would get better.
So now here I am
and so where are you?
I await your instruction;
tell me what to do!

I'm running and running
towards your blue skies
but grey clouds, they follow
and some more of me dies.
I feel so alone and
with no place to go.
They laugh at me and say,
"I told ya so!"
So I need you now;
you and your blue skies
for grey clouds still follows
and I know it's unwise
but just to replace you
I reach for my blade,
hoping to make you
wish you had stayed.


confused

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Acinonyx Jubatus
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Male Number of posts : 94
Age : 28
Location : North Carolina
Age : 16
Writing forte/s : Science-fiction
Registration date : 2006-08-11

PostSubject: Re: My Song (wow!!!)   Sun Aug 13, 2006 3:10 pm

I liked it, but the last half of the last stanza didn't seem to flow right. Other than that, it was good.
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Admin
Kips (Big Shot/ admin)
Kips (Big Shot/ admin)
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Female Number of posts : 146
Age : 26
Location : England
Age : Thirteen
Writing forte/s : Weird poetry and awful stories!
Registration date : 2006-08-11

PostSubject: Re: My Song (wow!!!)   Sun Aug 13, 2006 3:25 pm

Yeah I rushed with that part so I'll try and fix it some time. :-) Thanks!
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Silent
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Male Number of posts : 84
Age : 28
Location : Northern Ireland
Age : 16
Registration date : 2006-08-11

PostSubject: Re: My Song (wow!!!)   Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:17 pm

i like it, seemed to flow fine in my mind Razz nice work.. now you just have to sing it Razz

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Kips (Big Shot/ admin)
Kips (Big Shot/ admin)
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Female Number of posts : 146
Age : 26
Location : England
Age : Thirteen
Writing forte/s : Weird poetry and awful stories!
Registration date : 2006-08-11

PostSubject: Re: My Song (wow!!!)   Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:45 pm

Heh heh, I don't do singing... in front of people anyway. :-) Sorry hun, you'll just have to imagine! pirat

Keira
xxxxx bounce
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