The Writing Desk

The Large Teenage Writer's Desk
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  Log in  

Share | 

 God Bless America

Go down 
Mod in a cossak hat
Mod in a cossak hat

Male Number of posts : 13
Age : 28
Location : Nebraska
Age : 16
Writing forte/s : horror
Registration date : 2006-08-11

PostSubject: God Bless America   Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:31 pm

This is one of my shorter pieces, i had only just done it today in freewriting for english comp. I improved it a little but not much. Just want to see what you thought.

It was quiet, peaceful even, when it happened. He was watching from a park bench where he sat everyday and ate his lunch. Everyone had a routine, get up, go to work, eat lunch, go back to work, go home, and sleep; this was part of his. There he was sitting on the park bench feeding the pidgins leftover pieces of bread when the building exploded. There was no warning, just a bang. He was thrown off the small white bench just from impact along with everyone else standing. Huge flames had suddenly appeared from the tall buildings beside him. He watched in horror from the ground as the tower that once stood tall crumbled before him with the hundreds of people inside and around being crushed.
It was then the screams began. Screams of terror, screams for loved ones, screams for help, screams of pure agony filled the air. The fires from the surrounding buildings grew higher and higher filling the once calm sky with pitch-black smoke. He had gotten up, not realizing it, and started running towards the building. Knowing he had to help someone somehow. There were people in there, people with wives and husbands and children. People who had not had a chance to truly live life were falling with the rubble never having a chance to say goodbye, to say I love you. He must help, he must help them somehow.
He looked up to see people jumping out of the buildings, committing suicide, never giving it a chance that they might survive. He felt a trickle of cool blood run down his sooty face. He raised his hand to his forehead to find a large gash he must have gained in the fall. The smell of burning flesh filled the air. It was sickening, like smelling a pig roasted.
Firemen and policemen had arrived after hours, sirens blaring. Or was it hours? Could it have only been only a few minutes ago that he was eating his ham sandwich thinking about how he so badly needed a beer? Impossible. He looked down to find he was now standing on the smoldering rubble of the first building. It had collapsed so fast it was unimaginable.
He said a prayer for the children who would be killed and would loose their family today, hoping they would gain the strength they needed. Then he saw a small hand weakly claw its way out to the surface. Instantly he dropped down to his knees digging at the rubble around it. It was a woman, he could tell by its small size. The now black hand reached out trying to fight, trying so hard to see the light. He grabbed it realizing there was no chance of getting her out. He put all of his heart and soul into one squeeze to let her know he was there, that someone out there cared about her. He could feel her soul pass away and her hand stood limp. A tear fell down his sooty face, leaving a small trail down his cheek. Standing he looked around to the chaos. Some people had fled, others like him ran into the flames trying to save all those they could. He looked up to see the second building falling down upon him. There was no time, there was no running or screams; just one thought. God Bless America, then darkness.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
God Bless America
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
» God Bless America Chart - filet
» Review for They Plotted Revenge Against America
» Justice Society of America: World's Greatest Heroes?
» Dr Who Returns to BBC America August 27th!!!

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Writing Desk :: Improve Your Writing :: Short Stories-
Jump to: