The Writing Desk

The Large Teenage Writer's Desk
 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  Log in  

Share | 
 

 God's Commandments

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Deunin
Pencil
Pencil
avatar

Female Number of posts : 16
Age : 25
Location : P.R
Age : 13
Registration date : 2006-08-17

PostSubject: God's Commandments   Wed Aug 30, 2006 4:24 pm

Since TW is down [but It'll work again it has to or else I'll kill someone Twisted Evil ] But I thought I should post it here. I have no clue what this poem is about but i like it....sorta. I wasn't sure if I sould capitalize god or not, i'm not hugly religious or anything so...

I don't know you,
And you've never emt me.
We weill go our separate ways
As God cammands.

I was sitting idly in my place
Examining the thin delacte trees
As I let my body obsorb the sun
But behind every breath I drew,
A sort of emtiness was there,
That I could not explain.

you don't know me,
And I've never met you
We will meet one day
As god commands

And as I was observing the trees,
A distrubance broke my train of though
The leaves crushed and I saw
I was complete, full

You've made me this way.

Now I've met you
And you're here with me
Two lost souls, together
As god cammands



WOW! Thats so different then what it originally was. It's stupid but bring on the cold hard critisim baby WOOO

P.S. Don't mind the spelling mistakes
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Deunin
Pencil
Pencil
avatar

Female Number of posts : 16
Age : 25
Location : P.R
Age : 13
Registration date : 2006-08-17

PostSubject: Re: God's Commandments   Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:14 pm

No one likes it? Thats so depressing!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
 
God's Commandments
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» The Ten Commandments of HSE.

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Writing Desk :: Improve Your Writing :: Poetry and Lyrics-
Jump to: